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That's Not How I Remember It

by Clidesfeld

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1.
Cloves 05:27
Cloves of something crystal falling Tell me more and I’ll keep score Quit before it starts, avoidance Never guaranteed but torn All the open valves you have drained While every parasite is stained From you Tender calls in melted color All the starch you haven’t seen Tricky for a winner but see She’s acting for this scene Enter weak for demolition Never late for darker visions From you Then it all starts falling All the crystal, all appalling A faded echo breaks the silence And it all starts falling All the crystal starts withdrawing A stumble causes more for less Holographic novel models Keep my sight away from more Left-turn stricken, pinstripe patterns Screaming for a lost Before And her cellmates all are smothered No cheers heard for this young mother But for you Say they made it Can’t erase it Say they made it Say they made it, they can't erase it Say they made it, they can't erase it Say they made it Then it all starts falling All the crystal, all appalling A faded echo breaks the silence And it all starts falling All the crystal starts withdrawing All from your defiance
2.
After Dark 05:50
Come and dance with me Upon this dirty street Let's paint the town With a thick sound With a thick sound With a thick sound After dark we seek All the dirty freaks No one will see Do as you please With that ripping sound With that ripping sound Round after round Civilians hit the ground Round after round While there's no one around Why's the sun so hard to find? Why's the sun so hard to find? After dark we seek All the dirty freaks No one will see Do as you please With that thick sound With that thick sound Round after round Civilians hit the ground Round after round While there's no one around Why's the sun so hard to find? Why's the sun so hard to find? The sun won't come out The sun won't come out The sun won't come out The sun won't come out After dark they seek All the dirty freaks No one will see Do as you please With that thick sound With that thick sound Round after round Civilians hit the ground Round after round While there's no one around Why's the sun so hard to find? Why's the sun so hard to find? The sun won't come out (Why's the sun so hard to find?) The sun won't come out (Why's the sun so hard to find?) The sun won't come out (Why's the sun so hard to find?) The sun won't come out Why's the sun so hard to find? Why's the sun so hard to find? Why's the sun so hard to find? Why's the sun so hard to find?
3.
Jil 06:10
This sense is new Not one that I’m in tune Preoccupied, beware In silence we share My exposure to this hue Firefly in my view Less to say, more for me Excited, I suspend relief Forbidden, oh Forbidden, oh Forbidden, oh Forbidden Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away I want you To continue Stop light, stays to know More than I intend to show Forbidden, oh Forbidden, oh Forbidden, oh Forbidden Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Timid quake inside a waking, try to stay keen to stay away Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden Forbidden
4.
Silver Wall 04:53
Electric platform under me It's all been done before, repeat Repeat it on and on, silvered peak To them the feeling's gone, but not me Inside the message flaws hide the weak Beside a brand new dawn: old obscurity Writhing writer's palm, face pale and bleak All but humor's wrong, tongue in cheek Scratch the silver wall, don't you see? There nothing left to call yours or unique All this time enthralled with its physique Nothing not for long, Dee Scratch Scratch
5.
Velvet 03:28
The flat greens extend to a bent fence Side to side with wood and a little menace A call heard from inside to break the scene A blur of black and brown fly by me He exploded Explosion Explosion Explosion Fall in and out of loopholes Home's a flexible word He exploded Explosion Explosion Explosion The flowers hide the weeds and the slope A fence, too, ends the flow, they'll cope The dirt is printed and packed down I feel a warmth come up from the ground She exploded Explosion Explosion Explosion The purring of their velvet affection But inside there's a violent correction She exploded Explosion Explosion Explosion Don't waste my time You're a waste of mind Don't waste my time You're a waste of life She exploded Explosion Explosion Explosion Explosion
6.
Reverie 04:13
The question mark's to simplify my word, Reflecting something that is left unsure. A pivot-turn to break a bond with her, Nothing so absurd. Her claims are nothing but a fallacy shown through the cracks. My rights are confiscated to make room for these demanded pacts. Instead I deviate to show more power than she must expect, Revolting through bone inside my back. Boil burns are from the looker's eye. Faceless names without a reason why. Employ the man for a kind of sigh, Following my time. The killer's name is uttered in no way I'd understand, The decency, the kindness lost in order to raise up his hand. Disinterested in anything put past his skin or fault, It's what you get from him as a result. Are you on the ceiling? On whose side are you deceiving? Do you trust what you believe? Is it your achievement? Truth or desire deepens. Or am I lost in reverie? I'm sharing all of what I find obscure. A separation in which I will burn. Why even leave a drop for the impure? I have to find a cure. Vague as doubt, the evening sprouted more ideas to win. Left and right, a rule or two to aid the obsession. The trickier you are, the more you lean toward a sin Secures the best result once you begin. Are you on the ceiling? On whose side are you deceiving? Do you trust what you believe? Is it your achievement? Truth or desire deepens. Or am I lost in reverie? Are you on the ceiling? On whose side are you deceiving? Do you trust what you believe? Is it your achievement? Truth or desire deepens. Or am I lost in reverie? Are you on the ceiling? On whose side are you deceiving? Do you trust what you believe? Is it your achievement? Truth or desire deepens. Or am I lost in reverie?
7.
Roll in for another go, somewhat bashful in the snow. Something's wrong, and it's gone. Nothing new but nothing. Close enough, this I know, like a secondhand Monroe Someone's gone, perhaps withdrawn. Nothing new but nothing on. Coming back my step is slow. Careful for the gentle doe. Ears perk up and then it's gone: spotted, darted, followed. On its tail, stop and go. Caught again, we're toe to toe. Something said, something wrong, nothing new but a new con. I don't feed, I don't seed, I can't read the minds in need. I don't grieve, I won't be, But it's best if I could see You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. Roll in for another go, thinking why he wouldn't show. Stepping forward like a pawn, ready to be struck down. Empty hall, empty foe, hurt by whom I stand below. Taking hits, I wait for dawn. Nothing turns to no one. I don't feed, I don't seed, I can't read the minds in need. I don't grieve, I won't be, But it's best if I could see You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. Given time the sign reads no, every step on that plateau. Inching far from what it cost, nothing but a mindset lost. Circumstances called a low, ever trapped in a freak show. Inching far because it's lost, no one's in that eye of gloss. I don't feed, I don't seed, I won't scuff my knees to plead. I don't grieve, I won't be, But it's best if I could see You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are?

about

Reimagining songs from 2007-2010, That's Not How I Remember It takes pieces originally recorded in the uncertainty and instability of Clidesfeld's early days and reframes them through a mature, emotive, and sometimes tumultuous lens. In a similar vein as Clidesfeld's previous release Clarity, these stories interpreted anew sometimes take on new meaning or bring out additional insight.

Through these seven tracks lives perspective-shifting regret, all-consuming corruption, young infatuation, cautious optimism, anxiety seeking escape, framework challenges, and ill-tempered abandonment. It's loud, it's rough, it's introspective, it's layered, it's very Clidesfeld.

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released December 2, 2022

Brandon Patrick Sullivan: music, words, production, artwork

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Clidesfeld Minneapolis, Minnesota

Clidesfeld is a project by Brandon Patrick Sullivan. Largely characterized by distortion, tension, and reflection, Clidesfeld is inconsistent in tone and texture.

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